A new beginning

Okay, I am going to try this again. I know I am horrible at keeping in touch with people. But lately I have begun to understand the necessity for friends and community. This is due to a number of things that have occured lately. Not the least of which is the hearing of the following lyrics. [No, I am not going to tell you where they are from]

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are led to those
Who help us most to grow
If we let them;
And we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true;
But i know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.

Like a comet pulled form orbit,
As it passes a sun.
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood.
How can say if I've been changed for the better?
But, because I knew you...
I have been changed
For good...

It well may be,
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime.
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned for you.
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart...
And now whatever way our stories end,
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend!

Like a ship blown from it's moorings
By a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you...
I have been changed
For good...

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness for the things I've done
You blame me for.
But then I guess, we know there's blame to share.
And none of it seems to matter anymore!

. . .

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better.
And, because I knew you
I have been changed
For good.

Internship

So I know it's been almost forever since I last posted; but I make no apologies.

Anyway, I officially start my internship today. Right now I am sitting in the airport in Tampa Florida waiting for my ride to pick me up. I think I'm excited about this summer. I love working with the people I am working with; but this is also the first time I've ever had to leave anybody behind. Is it too sappy of me to say that I miss Lizzy already? I hope not because I do.

Well, looks like I've run out of time. The rest of my cohort are starting to show up and it would be polite of me to interact with them I suppose.

Catch y'all later!

The 13th level of hell

I am now convinced that karaoke is the punishment for those sentenced to the thirteenth circle of hell (or whichever one is reserved for the worst of sinners). I really can't think of anything worse than being forced to listen to bad karaoke singers for all eternity. I can say this with some surety since I just passed the last few hours suffering through some of the worst singing I have ever heard! Now I'm not usually THAT critical; but there should be a law against anyone even holding a microphone who can't produce more than two tones with their vocal cords!!!

I know I should probably repent of this critical attitude; but I'm pretty sure that bleeding out of ears and nose grants me some leniency in the complaint department. What I wouldn't give right now for some sweet dulcet melody WITHOUT vocal accompanyment. I have to admit though that some of the talent was at least semi-talented.

Despite this--I've decided that this almost local coffee shop is my favorite place to go when I want to either unwind or get some work done with few distractions. I think I've gotten more accomplished this weekend off campus than two or three weeks of struggling with work on campus. I hope this trait carries over into off-campus housing because I can't afford to drive to Aberdeen every couple of days just to do my homework.

Well, it looks like my time in hell is coming to an end. I do believe I see my guardian angel coming to rescue me from this self-imposed exile to the nether realms.

blah

There is very little ambition in my body right now. That's probably not a good thing since the end of semester is drawing rapidly closer. It's funny how I can want to be here and yet detest it at the same time. At the present I would give anything to be anywhere else. Perhaps it is merely the tail end of my illness speaking; but I don't want to do anything right now. I hope that once this cold is healed I will be able to function properly again.

Things to look forward to:

My internship is definitely a "go". Now all I have to do is find a cheap way to get to Florida. Plane tickets are somewhat cheap at the moment but I don't know exactly where I'm going to be on June 3. If I wasn't letting Lizzy use my car this summer, I would be more than tempted to drive down there. Decisions, decisions....

May 5 is commencement!! Even though I'm not graduating this semester, it's still an exciting time--most especially since it heralds the beginning of summer. Then it's off to Wisconsin for a few days followed by a road trip to Virginia for 2 weeks of "fun and sun". I can't wait! Does anyone have a time machine that I can use to skip the next couple of weeks?

And then, of course, is the wonderful day of Aug. 5 when I will be wedded to the most beautiful woman I know (sorry Rachel, but you don't even come close). And, according to her, the dress that she found is going to "knock my socks off!" I can hardly wait!

With all the good things to look forward to, I guess I can't hate everything like I really want to right now. So this must not have been a total waste of time.

Heh--back to blah-land again.

Caffeine is a man's best friend

When you get hit overnight with a sinus cold, what's the best thing to do? Get hopped up on caffeine in whatever form you can manage. At the very worst it will make heat your body up enough to make your nose drip like a Bunn coffee maker. At the very least you can temporarily forget that there is something wrong with your body and marginally enjoy yourself.

OWWW!! My head is starting to hurt again. Looks like I need to increase my i.v. drip rate.

Ahhh, the smell of coffee!

Blessings fall like flowers from the sky

It is so easy to get carried away with all the bad in life. To become disgruntled and jaded about everyone and everything around me. And then there are days like today where it seems nothing could go wrong at all. Why does life always revel in the rollercoaster route? Yet, having said that I also realize that the ups and downs of a rollercoaster are exactly equal. When all is said and done, everything always has a way of balancing itself out. For example, after nearly $200 of fines and work my car is now legal again; but I just got my tax return back which is nearly 10 times that amount--->balance. Eleven years of frustration and agonizing over finding my anam cara; now, having found her and marrying her within 11 months--->balance.

I can't shake the feeling that balance is the key to all of life and if we could find a way to live in that balance then much of the problems we face daily would just fade away. Even Christians struggle with this; maybe moreso than anyone else. Starry eyed dreaming? Perhaps; but something worth striving for.

In Jesus, I think, we have a compatriot who can help us in this endeavor. It is through Him that the deficiencies we are cursed with from birth are removed and we are given the chance to live like we were created to live. Here is the biggest blessing of all! Without Him life becomes a dreary existence indeed with no hope of getting better. All the money, power, or pleasure in the world can never satisfy. Nor can it erase the feeling that there must be something more to life.

As it nears Easter, I am continually reminded of all God has done for me despite myself--the blessings I have received and the lessons I have learned. And in Christ's resurrection I am given a hint of what my life means and the purpose for which I was created.

Spying On Our Own

Here is a paper I wrote recently for one of my classes (For a copy of the article used, click on this posts title). I have always had a problem with government stepping beyond it's boundaries and trying to control peoples lives. I may not agree with the philosophies of those who are currently under scrutiny; but a couple of changed words and a different semantic could easily place me and my beliefs directly under that same spotlight someday. Kinda make you think...

Spying on Our Own
What would you do if you came home one day to find a stranger in your house rummaging through your belongings? How would your response change if that stranger was a police officer and his stated reason for being there was to look for incriminating evidence? If you are like most Americans, you would invoke your Fourth Amendment right and ask to see a search warrant. If none was produced, I imagine you would demand the person leave; and in this day and age turn around and sue him.
Next to the right to free speech the Fourth Amendment is probably the most cherished and protected of American civil liberties. This amendment states: "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized." Yet in this post-9/11 environment it seems that the federal government has no qualms about ignoring this amendment in order to procure suspected terrorists within this country.
Recently, U.S. News & World Report ran an article regarding the currently more than twenty legal challenges to warrentless spying stating: “President Bush’s post-9/11 decision to allow the NSA to eavesdrop on American citizens without court-approved warrants has certainly created a political firestorm.” One such case is that of Suliman al-Buthe. Six years ago al-Buthe failed to report the 150,000 dollars in donations he was taking back to Saudi Arabia for a charity of which he was co-director to U.S. Customs official. Two years ago federal agents froze al-Buthe’s charity assets on charges of alleged ties to Osama bin-Laden and indicted him on taking money illegally from the country. All this was brought about due to an illegal wiretap between al-Buthe and his American attorneys. Meanwhile, the White House maintains that the president is legally allowed to order this type of spying when acting as commander in chief during a wartime situation.
However true this may be, the whole situation is vaguely reminiscent of George Orwell’s 1984 where Big Brother (a.k.a. the government) uses the excuse of martial law to surveil its citizens at all times whereby effectively removing free speech and privacy. What prevents the NSA from taking the liberties granted it in this war on terrorism and turning it into a witch hunt to remove any dissidents or threats to their power? By removing the courts from the process, the checks and balances built into our government have been circumvented.
From a legal standpoint, “The governments is vulnerable here,” says Syracuse University law Professor William Banks, “in that no judge has determined that this program was lawful, and we don’t know its full scope”. That is the reason these twenty or so hearings hold such a high profile. An adverse ruling for the government would, as they see it, severely hamper its efforts to unearth terrorists currently residing in the U.S. by requiring “unnecessary” delays while waiting for a warrant. Conversely, an adverse ruling for the plaintiffs would leave the government unimpeded to spy on anyone they wished based merely on suspicion and without proof. Personally I would rather have the government’s hands tied somewhat and trust in the integrity of the American majority to do the right thing when they see something suspicious than run the risk of losing, even partially, the freedoms and rights I enjoy as an American citizen. Clearly some sort of compromise must be reached. Until that time comes, this issue will remain volatile at best.