Dilema

This was my mood for most of the day today. Kinda brooding and tumultuous. I'm not really sure why because my spirits were great and I felt almost exuberant at the same time. Maybe it's just the fact that I haven't been getting much sleep and this week promises to hold no respite. Or it could just be the fact that I love grey cloudy skys and always have for no apparent reason.

Today is Lizzy's birthday and I really have no clue as to what we should do or what I should get her. I know I sound like a bad fiance; but part of that is because I have no money right now and part is because she told me she really doesn't want anything [I know that when a woman says something like that she is usually lying through her teeth; but in this case, as in most with her, I believe her]. Besides, she knows that I will do something for her as soon as I am able. Don't worry, I'm not as inconsiderate a prick as I might sound. I plan to make her day as great as possible with the resources I currently have.

Yippee!! Another night with very little sleep. It's a good thing I'm still young {Fie on all of you who call me old!}. Speaking of the vigors of youth, here's a great video for all you Halo fans out there.

Warthog jumping

And on that note I'm off to bed to dream of more and exciting adventures to imitate in this drear world I call earth.

You Entice Me

The merest thought of You makes my heart quiver with anticipation.
I long to simply see You smile; to hear Your whispered satisfaction
Like a parent whose child gives unstinting devotion and worship
With no thought to anything but his parent's happiness.
You draw me to You. Irresistible and unrestrained--
Unbridled passion pours from You in waves of holy light
Threatening to sweep me off my feet and swirl me away.
Yet though I am afraid, I desperately want to let go and get lost in Your flood;
To know the abandon of gain through loss, of joy through suffering,
Of true life through death and learn my meaning in the mirror of Your Presence.
You entice me.
I am intrigued.
And more than that, I think
I am in love
With You!
How do I know?
In a myriad of subtle ways.
Yet I am selfish still.
Even this love in me is unconsecrated;
Impure since I am, unhappily, all too human.
Yet You are holy, pure, and good
And in Your cleansing flood can my faulty, frail love
Be transformed into something new and beautiful--
Metamorphosed.
From beneath Your shed blood I emerge wholly different;
Seeing with new eyes, feeling with a renewed heart;
Become that changed creature of promise
I have seen in Your mirror eyes
And have longed to become
So that I may serve You better.
Your hand grasps mine;
Drawing me into Your sweet embrace
Until I am lost in Your loving Presence--
Your enticements fulfilled in my final act of surrender.

John Schneider April, 2005

Engagement ring link

I accidentally imbedded the link for the rings into the the title of my last post. If you can't find it here it is in text.

www.raru.com

The instructions are the same.

Love of my life

In all honesty I still can't believe that this is real! I am getting married!!! Yes, I know, it's almost inconceivable that I would ever find a person who would actually date me much less agree to spend the rest of her life with me. But it's TRUE. I went back to college to finish up my degree and found my future wife as well. Her name is Liz (or more specifically--Elizabeth Ann Kranz) and she is from Seymour, Wisconsin. She is a missions major, the same as me, and is 21. And that's all the specifics you get at this time. Keep your calendars clear for Aug. 12, 2006 and save up your pennies. Our wedding will be on that date in the Green Bay, Wisconsin area.

For all you ladies, follow the link to see her engagement ring. I think you'll like it. Go to "Celtic Engagement Rings" and then to "Julie Anne". Enjoy :)

Photos are forthcoming--as soon as I get some scanned in and figure out how to post them. Indulge me with your patience.

First time for everything

It's a good thing i don't make New Year's resolutions. Otherwise I would have broken this one before I even started. I never thought I would succumb to the idea of "journaling", much less online. Lately though, it has seemed to be the easiest way for me to keep in contact with everyone I know now that they are spread all over the world. For anyone reading this who doesn't know me, this will NOT be a day by day account of a boring life. I doubt I will even post on a quasi-regular basis. I intend this to be an outlet for all the ideas that tend to run rampant in my head. My apologies in advance. Having said that, I hope you enjoy. Also, please feel free to leave criticisms or ideas you would like me to address. I love being challenged.